


Somebody You Loved

by ImagineRedwood



Category: Mayans M.C. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:14:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24676729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImagineRedwood/pseuds/ImagineRedwood
Summary: Request:  Can I request an imagine for the song “somebody you loved” by Lewis Capaldi for Coco
Relationships: Johnny "Coco" Cruz/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Somebody You Loved

Coco grimaced as the whiskey burned its way down his throat. He knew his limit and he knew he should put down the bottle. He was already more than drunk. He couldn’t bring himself to do it though. The liquor seemed to be the only thing that allowed him to find some peace lately. After you left him, he didn’t really have anyone to turn to. You had always been the one that helped him see the light when things got dark. He knew that he could always count on you to be there and hold him up. He had gotten comfortable with that. Complacent. And then he had lost you.

_I’m going under and this time I fear there’s no one to save me  
This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy_

He had kept a lot from you in the beginning. He had told you that he didn’t have children when he did. That he wasn’t involved in crime when he was. He had urged you that you had nothing to worry about when you did. That you would never be put in danger when you were. He had tried to paint a picture of who he thought you wanted him to be and he’d had you convinced. Until Celia wedged her way in and laid the true cards out on the table. She had outed every lie he had ever told you. You had defended him in that moment against her but it had sparked an argument like never before. She had tossed a grenade into your relationship and both you and Coco had been convinced that it would be the end.

You managed to come back from it though, making sure that Coco knew there were to be no more lies. Then it was a matter of working through the trauma. Learning about the truth behind who he was. It took a while, the ex-Marine like an onion who always had a new layer to peel back once you had gotten through another. It was grueling, emotionally taxing work, but you both did it together, growing and grieving and healing. You had been there for and with him through it all.

_I need somebody to heal  
Somebody to know  
Somebody to have  
Somebody to hold  
It’s easy to say  
But it’s never the same  
I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain_

You were a blessing to him. A gift that he didn’t deserve but would never return. He held onto you tightly and vowed to never give you up. He had never expected that it would be you calling it quits. It had just become too much for you. The guns, the crime, the violence. The worry that he wouldn’t come home. The fear of someone finding you and taking you. You had been on the edge from the beginning but had held on for Coco because you loved him.

When he had told you about the partnership with Los Olvidados though, that had been the straw that broke the camels back. You had lost it then, a mess of tears and frustration. He could hear your voice clearly then as he reminisced.

“They’ll fucking kill you if they find out! Are you crazy? Going behind the club’s back like this? Or what about Galindo? What if he finds out? Next thing you know they come here and chop my head off so they can leave it on my mother’s doorstep. I didn’t sign up for this shit, Johnny. This was all you. Everything was going well and you have to go fuck up a good thing.”

Your words had been harsh but he knew they were true. He hadn’t consulted with you before making the choice. He had spoken with Angel and Gilly and that was it. It hadn’t occurred to him to run it by you. Had he known it was going to cost him his relationship with you, he may have done things differently.

_Now the day bleeds  
Into nightfall  
And you’re not here  
To get me through it all  
I let my guard down  
And then you pulled the rug  
I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_

He couldn’t go back though and had to deal with the consequences. He placed the bottle down and laid back on the couch, his head swimming. It was alright though. At least he couldn’t feel the ache in his chest anymore. He leaned his head to the side and looked at the wall, his eyes watering as he caught sight of a picture on the wall, you and him smiling in love. You must’ve forgotten to take it with you when you packed up your things and left. Or maybe you had left it for him so he could have something to keep. To remember you by.

Coco closed his eyes, hot tears escaping and traveling down his cheeks. He cursed and hurled the half empty bottle of whiskey at the wall. The glass shattered and clattered to the floor as the liquid ran down the paint. He’d worry about cleaning it tomorrow. For right now, he was just going to go to sleep and hope that you visited him in his dreams again the way that you had last night. In his dreams you were happy and in love, smiling as you gazed at him. He hadn’t realized just how much he depended on you until you were gone. You were the one to help quiet his head when it got too loud. To get him to calm down and think straight when he was blinded by rage. Now he didn’t have that and he was going to have to explain to Letty which is what he feared most. Rubbing at his face harshly, he wiped away his tears and rolled over, grabbing the blanket hanging over the back that smelled like you to cover himself.

 _And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes_  
I fall into your arms  
I’ll be safe in your sound ‘til I come back around


End file.
